And Then There Were Three

NLD Girl - this one's for you...

Anyone who's seen E or me over the last two weeks knows that we're competing in Survivor- Wedding Edition.  It's a relatively small field and we've created a few alliances, so I think we're real contenders to stay on the island...

Yes, it's true - our oldest, NLD Girl will tie the proverbial knot this weekend.  Many of you know the anxiety a parent feels when faced with the prospect of a daughter's fiancé.  Will he be a toad or a prince?  Will he be a strong partner who treats our daughter with love and respect?  Will he worship me as the true Amazon goddess that I am?  Just like with babies, we don't care what gender they bring home, we just want the relationship to be healthy.  In this regard, we've struck gold - or, to put it in language our future son-in-law will understand, it's as if we were halflings traveling through the forgotten realm of Faerun and have stumbled upon a dragon's hoard.  Yes, this is the part of the story where the boy who has no name is hereby christened DungeonMaster (insert your own trumpet fanfare here).

So, back to the wedding - it's hard to believe that E and I have reached that time in our lives.  It seems especially hard for E to believe it - or at least remember it - to wit:

Me:  Have you decided what you're wearing to the wedding?

E:  What wedding?

Me:  The Red Wedding - no, the wedding of our oldest, remember?  It's this Sunday?

E:  Ooohhh, can you believe she's finally getting married?  Do you remember that time with the thing when she did that thing at the thing?

Me:  Do you mean the time you asked her to mash a banana with a fork for banana bread and she tried to do it without peeling it?

E:  Of course, I just said that - why are you repeating what I say?

Me:  Yes, I remember that.  I also remember having to send her to bed dressed for the next day of school because she was virtually impossible to get out of bed.  We were worried about her getting through high school and here she is, a college-educated woman with a real job.

E:  Right, remember that pink shirt, I loved that pink shirt and the other thing...

Me:  Are you having a mini-stroke?

E:  No just lost in memories.

Me:  Ok, sooooo, back to the wedding.  What are you wearing?

E:  What wedding?

And on and on and on...

It's true, there were times during NLD's childhood when we thought "well, she will probably live with us forever, but we're ok with that.  As long as she's happy and she will be as long as we can figure out a way for the microwave to automatically dispense chicken nuggets at regular intervals, she'll be all set."  However, she challenged all of our pre-conceived notions, and most of our sanity, and turned into a well-adjusted human being, despite our feeble attempts at parenting.  NLD Girl went from having a boyfriend in the second grade (we suspect he was not aware of this status) to finding her life partner in her early twenties.  That's a better track record than either of us can lay claim to.

As I imagine always occurs at this point for the parents of the bride or groom-to-be, there is always some thought as to what the future son/daughter-in-law brings to the family.  In the case of NLD Girl, we know what DungeonMaster's family is getting: a smart, funny, and generous young woman with a lingering fixation on Draco Malfoy who should be kept away from cooking and baking implements at all times.  On our end of things, we are getting an intelligent, witty, and friendly young man with an encyclopedic knowledge of all things Game of Thrones.  I suspect DungeonMaster may know the character and plot points better than George R. R. Martin, himself.  I have read the books so I have a working knowledge of the series in a way that poor E does not.

DM:  Did you watch the episode this week?

E: Yes, it was great - I loved the dragon lady.

DM:  Daenerys?  Yes, she's a Targaryen, the last known living one - she was related to the Maester at Castle Black.

E:  Right - Jon Snow - he was a great Maester.  It's was nice of the Leominsters to raise him for that.

DM:  I think you mean the Starks, and he wasn't the Maester at Castle Black.  He was the Lord Commander.

E:  Right - didn't he have that dog?

DM:  Direwolf - Ghost.

E:  Where?  You saw a ghost?

DM:  No, that's the name of the Direwolf, Ghost.

E:  Ah, why doesn't the dragon lady give the old knight a break?  He has a bad rash on his hand and he's just helping because he used to sleep with the former queen and they had the little person, Cheerios as their son and the girl.

DM:  There are so many things wrong with that sentence...  Which girl?

E:  A girl has no name.

DM:  Arya?

E:  I don't know, she has no name.

DM:  She does, it's Arya.

E:  Well why does she say she has no name?  That's very confusing.

This conversation goes on until DungeonMaster's brain heats up to a dangerous level and one of us typically has to intervene.

But back to the matter at hand, the joining of House Erwin and House Rembrandt.  Our sigils may be different but we are united in one common and important sentiment.  Both houses are unbelievably excited and happy to be coming together and helping our respective charges make this important step.    I believe I can speak for E when I say that we are very proud of you both and can't wait to watch you walk your journey together.  Hopefully, you'll remember a balance of the trivia and vital that makes up a good marriage, and forget the occasional misstep, because in the end, it's all trivial as long as you have each other.

E:  Shit, why didn't you remind me I needed an outfit for the wedding?  It's this weekend!!!

Me:  Sigh.